Hello and welcome to Expansive Kinship! In this first-ever post of mine on Substack, I’d like to introduce myself and my hopes and plans for this site. I’m excited to invite you, my kin, along for the ride.
What is Expansive Kinship about?
This site is a vehicle for my thoughts on deep and radical intimacy: relationship anarchy, polyamory, non-monogamy, chosen family, platonic partnership, community, and healing. I’m hoping to explore what these concepts mean, what shapes they can take, and how to discern what promotes individual and collective joy, resilience, and health. I’m driven by questions such as:
What are the dominant social scripts we’ve inherited culturally? Who do these scripts serve? What does it take to step back from them, make them visible, examine them, and make choices about them?
What relational elements are most needed for a healthy life? How do they vary from person to person, relationship to relationship, group to group?
What practices embody the philosophy that we are all related?
How can we define kinship, family, “relationships,” “my/our people”, etc. in ways that are inclusive, not based on ownership, and promote the well-being of everyone involved?
What methods and supports exist to foster expansive kinship?
My plan is to post once or twice a week. I have not yet enabled paid subscriptions but I will be putting some thought into what that could look like. There will always be the option of accessing free posts.
This may be a congenial community space for you if:
you’re a bit of a cultural non-conformist
you find the principles of relationship anarchy intriguing
you are excited to examine kinship, family, and belonging in ways that often run counter to standard narratives
you are willing to be curious, questioning, and respectful of different stories and experiences
you agree to refrain from attacking others in this space, and to take a step back for reflection if you find defensiveness and/or aggression arising
If that sounds appealing, I encourage you to subscribe!
Why now?
I’ve been contemplating creating this Substack for a long time, and I’m finally giving myself a big push to Do the Thing. I get stuck on wanting everything to be perfect, so I’m also challenging myself to let this be necessarily imperfect and good enough. These writings are as much for me as for any reader. I need to continually hone what I believe and how I put those beliefs into practice, and for me, part of that is through writing.
Additionally, I wish to offer community and inspiration to my kin. What tools can we take up to dismantle oppression, internal or external? What paths can offer us room to breathe, understand, sustain, flourish? What explorations of relationality will lead us to the epiphanies and connections we most need?
I’m not sure there was ever a time and place when such inquiries weren’t important, but there’s a particular urgency I’m feeling now, positioned as I am in 2025 in the United States of America. Who are our people, our kin? Who has my back, and yours, and everyone’s? How do we understand community building and community destruction? What does this mean for those of us who are considered relational minorities? How do we draw upon intersectionality to understand the complexity of what’s happening? How do I, you, we offer insights that nobody else can offer? These questions burn in me like a protected ember being carried forward into the future, ready to ignite the campfire that brings light, warmth, and a suitable place to share some food and have some meaningful conversations.
Who am I?
I’m Jennifer, one of your relations.
I’m a queer, polyamorous relationship anarchist. My love includes all genders. I have been married and divorced. I have one child with whom I share a home along with our two cats. I have blood and chosen family all over the place. I live on Dakota land in the Twin Cities of Minnesota.
I’m a relational coach, mentor, facilitator, and catalyst. I’m at the very tail end of completing certification in trauma-informed coaching. I’m also a certified peer support specialist in the state of Minnesota. You can find out more about my professional offerings at JenniferLuciani.com.
There is more to share with you about myself, but let’s give it time.
Many good questions here! Thanks for the offerings!